The Most Expensive Lie in America: 'College Is the Key to Success'

4 Minute Read

 

After four years of soul-searching electives, cafeteria sushi, and group projects where you did all the work, you did it. You graduated. And with that diploma — an expensive piece of paper that could double as a down payment on a house in 1987 — you stepped proudly into the job market… only to find it was already full.

Despite promises that a degree was your ticket to a better life, the latest data says otherwise. According to the U.S. Labor Department, the unemployment rate for college grads aged 22 to 27 is now 5.8%. That’s not a typo — that’s higher than the national average, which sits at just 4%. In simpler terms: you’re statistically more unemployed than the general population, including those who skipped college entirely and have never had to write a paper on “late-stage capitalism through the lens of HBO.”

But don’t worry — your school’s career center sent you a spreadsheet of job postings from 2016, a vague link to “Handshake,” and told you to “network.” Meanwhile, your inbox is full of polite rejection emails that begin with “Thanks for applying,” and end with “We’ve decided to go in another direction,” which in this economy is just HR speak for “We went with the intern who’s also ChatGPT.”

Sure, they told you college was an investment. But nobody mentioned that the “returns” might be delayed until your mid-30s. Or that you'd be applying for jobs asking for five years of experience and a starting salary that qualifies you for low-income housing. At this point, underemployment is practically a rite of passage — over 40% of recent grads are working jobs that don’t require a degree at all. You’ve joined the elite ranks of history majors turned baristas, and economics grads who now explain to customers why their latte is $8.

“Congress Promises Guns or Butter—But Where Are the Jobs for My Butter Degree?”

There was a time America debated whether we should spend more on guns or butter — military might or domestic programs. Today’s grads would just like a job that comes with either. Preferably butter. Something spreadable. Anything.

Even as inflation cools and hiring picks up in some sectors, entry-level roles — those fabled “foot in the door” gigs — have become mythological. Job listings demand “rockstar” candidates with 3–5 years of experience, six relevant certifications, and a willingness to work weekends for $38K and a ping pong table. The result? A cohort of highly educated young people with no place to go but back home.

And yet, the university brochures still show fresh-faced graduates holding laptops, shaking hands in glass offices, staring off into a future that, frankly, doesn’t exist. Because the truth is: your degree doesn’t guarantee a job — it guarantees that you’ll be invited to apply. The outcome is up to the algorithm.

But chin up, graduate. You may not have a job, but you do have a LinkedIn profile with 28 endorsements for “Teamwork” and a Canva certificate in “Brand Synergy.” That has to count for something.

Right?

Disclaimer: This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute financial or investment advice. The information provided may be outdated or contain inaccuracies. Always conduct your own due diligence and consult a licensed financial advisor before making investment decisions. Investing involves risk, including the potential loss of principal.

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